I am the anti-Sally. I would rather scrape the pickles and onions off my Quarter Pounder with Cheese than have one specially made - I don't want to be a bother. Serve me a warm beer and I'll probably drink it, give me a hotel room with a toilet that doesn't flush properly and I'll take the lid off and pull the chain. It's not that I'm a door mat, I just pick my battles carefully and let the rest roll off my shoulders. Confrontation makes me uncomfortable. I do not return things to stores. I regret them or re-gift them.
Last night at dinner Sam, one of my lovely dining companions, asked for the server's recommendation as to what to order. I don't think I'd ever do that - would part of me worry that they'd try to get me to order the most expensive entree? Or the one no one else was ordering and they had lots of? No, probably not...but I like to be unnoticed except when I chose to make myself noticed. Hell, I didn't want people staring at me when I got married so I refused to walk down any "aisle"...is this low self-esteem? Probably. But I also think it's about control. The same reason I don't downhill ski or bungee jump - I want to be in control of things whether its racing down an icy hill at top speeds or not having people pay attention to me when I'm feeling vulnerable.
So you won't be seeing me on reality tv or asking a waitress to reheat my burger (at McDonalds I might ask my hustband to take it back)
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re: "i regret them, or re-gift them". Story. Of. My. Life.
I'm the same way, i don't like to make waves or be front-centre. It's a mix of control seeking, and being afraid of my flaws being visible. I don't want to be in front of everything, and then make a mistake.
But I don't think it's a function of low self-esteem. I know my self-worth, and I hope you know yours (if you don't, it should be pretty damn high). I want people to find me skilled and capable and generally awesome, etc. but I don't want to force it down their throats either.
And when it comes to customer service, well I used to be much less able to return things, or bring up bad service in a restaurant, etc. but working IN customer service has shaken some of that loose. I stood up for myself at Rogers last week when they were attempting to screw me the heck over, and I got a great deal by threatening to take my business elsewhere.
Sorry this was long - you just seem to bring these long responses out in me! I think because I pretty much always relate to what you are writing.
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